more on the "liberal media"

From Big Picnic:

A sad and often-ignored fact is that media's relationship with the White House is governed by certain "ground rules." Basically, it works like this: Rove (or whoever) makes up some rule for the press, and any reporter who violates it gets cut off from access. For example, the president recently announcement that he would continue to conceal records concerning John Roberts. The corresponding "rule" was that the press couldn't air a democratic response to this announcement until after midnight.

Now, I don't know about you; but I find it pretty alarming that the media apparently capitulates to these commands. Remember when the press was more than just a propaganda wing of the administration? That was nice. Not that I don't enjoy the nightly "Bush is Awesome" reports and all. But I mean, in a perfect world, you'd think that a lying, war-mongering president who supports torture would garner a little critical attention from the press; or, I don't know, at least more than constant unmitigated praise.

---
And their take on where this will lead to:

After reading about the White House's "press rules," discussed below, I was curious as to what other Press Rules the administration was planning. After some investigation, Big Picnic was able to uncover the following list:

MANDATORY PRESS RULES, EFFECTIVE AUGUST, 2005

Dear Press,The Following rules are effective immediately:1

. Reporters' questions to the president must be in multiple choice, and choice (C) must always be "because, unlike Terrorists, I like freedom"

2. All reports on SCOTUS nominee John Roberts must reference his supreme awesomeness. Specifically:

- When mentioning Robert's relationship withthe law, note that Roberts is the pitcher.

- Mention upcoming Roberts biopic starring Heath Ledger.- Democratic criticism must be followed by clip of Roberts using karate to fight Nazis.

- If "Firm buttocks" are mentioned in any context, the report must also note that firm buttocks is a quality shared by supreme court nominee John Roberts

3. All reports on UN nominee John Bolton must be properly framed.

- WRONG: President Bush Bypasses Senate with Recess Appointment

RIGHT: President Bush Saves America by Narrowly Averting Boltonless Hell

4. The word "torture" is hereby banned; substitute "insufficient luxury"; "detainee" should be replaced with "Islamurderer".For example, "protestors complained about the torture of detainees" should be replaced with "protestors complained about insufficient luxury for Islamurderers"

5. Anchors will say "Raaa-or" and make claw motion after every Hillary Clinton clip. Optional: whipping sound after Mr. Clinton clips.

6. Until further notice, all reports on Karl Rove must use soft-focus lens and "Wind Beneath My Wings" backing track.

7. Speaking of backing tracks, these individuals now have the following theme music accompanying all reporting on them:

- George Bush: "Eye of the Tiger"

- Dick Cheney: "March of the Valkyries"

- Rick Santorum: "Sprit in the Sky"

- Michael Moore: "Detachable Penis"

- Condoleezza Rice: "Iron Man"

- Ted Kennedy: "Too Drunk to Fuck"

8. No more asking the president about made-up foreign countries, and then laughing when he tries to talk about it. That was funny like one time, and its not cool anymore.

9. Remember, the following rule remains in effect: All reports on Iraq must follow a lengthier story on:

- White Womens' ongoing struggle to remain unmissing.

- Who R. Kelly may have peed on today

- How Blogging is the new something, or how something else is the new blogging

- The hijinks of Tomkat

I don't want to single anyone out, but we noticed a certain network aired only four minutes of Cruise coverage one night. We're paying Tom a lot of money to carry on like that, people- and that money is wasted when you slack off on the coverage.

10. Finally, keep up the good work! I don't want to end on a negative note, so let me just congratulate everyone on their coverage so far. Keep it up guys!